The current lies and rhetoric of the party formerly known as the Republican Party is aiming to kill their own constituents. The GOP adherence to the lies of the failed last president is literally making policies and a whole platform of lies. Catering to the conspiracy theorists and science denying fools that can’t see reality for all the huge piles of lies for their death cult.

Yeah, formerly known as the Republican Party is now a death cult. I said that before, but I really mean it now. …

Life now is one of tireless anxieties about my health and life in Charlotte. Will I keep living here and get a job, or will I have to cut and run back to Texas? Things ought to be clearer in the last days of summer as schools get going with or without me.

Most of the jobs I applied for are teaching or related to teaching. Yes, I realize that teaching is still very stressful. …

Thanks to symptoms of the very disease, I am dealing with an interrupted July 29th subspecialist neurology appointment. The morning started late after I dozed back to sleep for what I swore was 5 minutes, that was really an hour. Then things got even worse as I had a hand covered in a product of the bowel, common symptoms, when I went to use the bathroom.

I knew that minute at 7:35, I was not making the scheduled appointment that morning. I showered, then tried to call the office to ask for a delay at 7:45. …

I will always grasping at straws until there’s something to hold on to. The want and will to hold little until there’s actually an object there to hold is how I can conceptualize my early adult life. Seeing past the here and now and seeing into the optimistic future was a regular thing for me at one time.

Then, and now, I must section off months and have short-term “ideas,” not certainties, but hopeful notions of what I wish to be real. As Yoda tells in “The Last Jedi,” Luke was always looking to the future, but saw little of…

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Broken hips aside, slow-motion train wrecks of plans are not fun to live out. Our lives are slow and agonizing and then fast and move way too fast in good times. Life is made of these times.

We realize this and strive to maximize the good times the older and wiser we get. I have yet to perfect the good, yet I am working on it the best my mind and body can do. I find that Multiple Sclerosis, or MS, makes this task 100x tougher.

I find, medium and long-term memory issues never help us enjoy anything. Getting through…

This thought occurs to me as I talk out plans for the coming future of my life. I wish I could chart and now all at times to eliminate the uncertainty that surrounds us. As my blog said days ago, Welcome the Uncertain, I welcome the times that are uncertain.

Anxiety and angst and all that the ambiguity makes are what my life’s been for most of my time here. I planned a semester at a time in college and grad school out of need. I found that everything fell apart whenever I tried to plan for a year.

Not…

Today is my first neurology appointment since November of 2019, and my first ever with a sub-specialist for progressive MS, or multiple sclerosis. A mix of angst and thrill drive my pulse from a resting 65 to a high of 85 or so. Finding the answer to what kind of MS I have and what’s the state of things are logical results of what I will hear.

The latter will require image testing of CT and MRI scans I am guessing. Although the first office visit will answer a lot about my new sub-specialist for progressive MS. …