Photo by Birmingham Museums Trust on Unsplash

The hollow that is left after my mother’s passing will always be filled with her ideas, ethics and habits that represented her. So much of what I admired in her is still present in the person of my fiancé. They want to be better than she is “supposed” to be and improve herself at all costs and efforts are personified by her.

Mom was and will be my hero and that is why I am so attracted to my engaged wife. The principles and ideas that mom held are similar, if not exactly, like her values and beliefs. …


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Illness and disease can drive us from or together as a family and drive us crazy as people as I hinted at in past blogs. The ideas and ethics of our family are that our matriarch set in us as kids when she and her mom raised us. That threat of our intimacy and sanity is mostly not present.

Though I cannot see in everyone’s heads in the family, I can only see what I see and hear. Some illogical blaming of self is present, yet that is only us trying to bring reason to cancer and death. …


Photo by Johann Walter Bantz on Unsplash

37 years, 7 months and 1 day is the difference in my parents’ deaths. Those days also encompass my lifetime and the works of my granny’s and mom’s feats in raising us 3 boys. The power of education, love and family permeate my learning of all those lessons.

That legacy she made with us is further enhanced by all the students she helped along the way in her 18-year teaching career. You regular readers know this all too well, yet the grieving process makes me repeat myself, pardon me. …


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Mom took her last breath around 11:20 am CDST on April 4,2021 in her room at the hospice center. That breath was expected for weeks and days before it happened. Her stubborn nature not to give in held until she was taken by cancer and pure exhaustion.

I am okay with her going in peace and seeing what lies beyond. I just hope she is with all the loved ones and family we’ve lost before looking down on us now. …


Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Why would I not want to visit my dying mom in hospice? Maybe because every moment I am there looking into that face that was the center my soul is like a nightmare now. It’s more a mask than a face and her body more an empty vessel that once held that soul I love more than my life.

She is what I am and who shall ever be. She was the reader of books and the one that is responsible for my interest in history and political science. I feel nothing better when I see that body, she once…


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Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

Cancer is stopping or has or stopped most vital organs inside her body, yet the heart still slowly beats, and the will is there. Mom is living well beyond most predictions by medical professionals. She will be stubborn as she was in life in her passing on.

We inherited that drive to defy all odds and overseers of the situations we’ve met thus far. Her passing as we all three reach the precipice of middle age can remind us of the limited time we have here. …


As my mother made me! 😁❤️


Photo by Stephan Seeber on Unsplash

Better times are coming is, and always has been, the continual theme in my life. Cancer took my step-uncle in earlier this year and threatened to take my mother anytime in April. These deaths will hit me hard, but they were never impossible, just unlikely, we thought, now.

Many live longer than my step-uncle in his family, and most women live at least a few more years than mom’s current age in her family. However, death is certain for all that breathe and live. What we do with those days here is what matters.

Our stepdad will inherit much from…


Photo by Emma Frances Logan on Unsplash

It seems I will keep this multi-part series going until my Mother fully passes on. Her stubbornness is clear now more than ever, as she refuses to go until she’s darn ready to go! She is inert and catatonic, as the cancer eats away at stomach lining and all her vital internal organs.

She shows no signs of recognition or awareness to voices of loved ones anymore. The time I saw her on her second day in Tyler will be my last memories of her. She was there 100% and able to talk and think and almost fully function.

I…

Adam, Diabetic Cyborg

Muslim, Optimist, History/Political Science Prof. with no class. An Endurer of SPMS, T1 Diabetes and life. Fully Vaccinated since 2/4

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