Damn Kris, I feel like I just saw into a partial refection of my own crushes through my life. Now, more than ever, I realize it was all in my head. I just dug the emotional high from the endorphins like drugs as you say.
Crushes are my only experiences with love, so I guess I am an addict of them. The hope is to stop having crushes that will never be, and just be myself and be okay with that. I chose not to have anyone for fear of my illnesses affecting their happiness. That is a choice I am at peace with until someone changes that for me. 😏😁